The final countdown...

to Christmas that is. I'm not a fan myself but am going to do my best to 'enjoy' the festivities. Have bought the boy everything that was on his list and something else I think he'll love. He'll get loads from his dads side too so he's going to be one very happy boy!

I have a couple of presents to open and I'm very happy to have actually got some :D

I'd just like to say that I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas and New Year.

See you on the other side!

Week 7 weigh in.

I stayed the same this week. I'm so glad as I've been terrible with my eating but I've been out walking in the snow a lot, so I'm guessing that counteracted the extra calories I had.  I've also noticed how other people influence my eating and how my will power needs to toughen up a bit! It's not their fault but certain people know I'm on a 'diet' yet still bring me cakes,pies,bacon butties,chocolates,mince pies, the list goes on, and I feel the need to have it because they bought it for me. Does that make sense? It's like when I eat out at a friends house and they pile on the food to a massive portion, that would feed me and my boy twice, I feel I have to eat it all.  I don't do that when I eat out at a restaurant or have take away though. I eat what I want and leave the rest.  Hmmm, it's like I don't mind 'wasting' food when I've paid for it...

So this week I will be eating at home and cooking all meals to my own portions. Asking people not to bring me 'naughty' foods, and if they do just say no thank you.


Just say no thank you.


 It's going to be hard but needs to be done!

Week 6 weigh in

Oh dear! Not a good week this week AT ALL.

No excuses- I just ate crap most of the week *bows head in shame*

1lb on!!!


Will do better next week...

Soap&Glory Wish Upon A Jar

This is the detailed product information from the Boots website about this cream-

Soap & Glory Wish Upon a Jar Wonder Cream.



Aging? Take a deep breath, concentrate, and make a...WISH UPON A JAR™ 21 Day Collagen Overhaul Cream For tired, dull and aging skin, with shea butter, tetrapeptides, antioxidants and oxygen boosters.


How does it work?

- Boosts moisture levels

- Fights fine lines and wrinkles

- Hides flaws!

- Moisture boosting

With YOUTHFAKE™ Diamond spheres to illuminate the skin and minimize the visual aspects of lines, wrinkles, shadows, large pores, pigmentation and discolouration.

Youth twice a day:

For best results, use WISH UPON A JAR™ under or as your facial moisturiser twice daily (a.m./p.m.) for twenty-one days straight. When the course is complete, revert back to your favourite daily moisturiser. (And don't forget your SPF!)

What’s inside that counts?

Contains quite possibly the most potent mix of clinically proven anti-wrinkle peptides, oxygen boosters, puffiness reducers, pigmentation, large pore and fine-line disguisers ever witnessed and in 21 days flat can make your face look and feel SUPER FRESH!



I LOVE Soap&Glory products and couldn't wait to try this one. The packaging is FAB. It has a great texture and smells lovely. I have used it for nearly a week now but it just doesn't agree with my skin *cry*
 
Over the last few days I have developed dry/sore patches on my chin and around my crows feet. I also have little blisters across my whole face. So now I have a crusty, dry, flaky face and a pot of 'wonder' cream I can't use. Disappointed big time but it's too 'potent' for me :(
 
Back to the drawing board...

Week 5 weigh in

You know how I said I wouldn't sabotage myself- I did! :(

Friday night I had a hot date at the new Italian, so had lots of delicious food and wine.

Saturday I was so hungover and couldn't be arsed to cook, so we had pizza, potato wedges and extra garlic sauce.

I wasn't too bad during the week but I didn't meal plan or even drink any water.

Thursday I ate a whole box of Malteasers to myself then later had spaghetti bolognese with garlic bread.

Last night I stayed over at my friends and we had lasagne, salad and garlic bread. Washed down with strawberry and lime cider.

I feel a right little piggy but luckily there was NO GAIN! No loss either but I'm happy with that. The line is drawn and I'm starting again.

Does it get any easier???? Please say it does...

Week 4 weigh in

I didn't manage to pull myself up from the slump I was in last week. A few days of guess work what calories I had consumed. Not on top form to be honest but this weeks loss is-










1lb!

Still going in the right direction, slowly but surely. I did actually measure myself today as well and so far I have lost-

0.5 inches on my bust

1 inch on my waist

3, yes 3!! inches on my hips!!!


I WILL keep going. I haven't fallen off the wagon yet. I'm still losing, albeit slower than anticipated but I won't lose hope and will not have the biggest binge ever, even though some days I REALLY want to. It won't make me feel any better anyway. I WILL NOT sabotage myself!


And breath... :)

My waning willpower!

I haven't fallen off the wagon totally yet but I can feel myself slipping.

I want fish and chips!

I want a full English breakfast!

I want to eat until I'm stuffed and can't move!

I want crisps, chocolate, hot sweet milky coffee!

I want cake!

I just want to totally pig out on all the wrong foods but I know I will regret it. I'll feel all guilty and ashamed of myself. Probably feel sick and awful too.

How do I get over it??? HEEEELLLLPPPPPP!

week 3 weigh in

I found this week quite hard to be honest. I had a raging hangover on Saturday so had a few chips and fishfingers for dinner. I've discovered that me and Weetabix don't get on. I had it for breakfast a couple of times this week and it has totally bunged me up. Wednesday and Thursday I was at training all day. Lunch was provided and although the food wasn't too bad, it wasn't really diet friendly. There was a very good veg and fruit platter though so I ate some of that with a couple of sandwiches(ham and cream cheese,egg and mayo). I tried to log it on weightlossresources but I was unsure of ingredients/measurements etc, so it was pretty much guess work. It's also coming up to my time of the month so I'm craving chocolate and stodge like there's no tomorrow.

Anyway, my loss this week is- 1lb!


I am a bit disappointed but a loss is a loss, right?

I'm going to try and pull back control and make sure I weigh/measure everything this week.

No more Weetabix either...

I'm still on target though and have lost 6lbs in 3 weeks :)

Wish me luck!

Week 2 weigh in.

I did so much better keeping nearer the calories I should be eating this week. Last week I went over by about 1000 the whole week. This week I've gone over 100, up to now. I've changed my weigh in day to a Friday as I find weekends harder and it gives me a week to pull it back if I do slip. Yesterday I was craving chocolate so I had a Cadbury's Bliss bar and half a Mint Aero, but they were in my calories for the day.

So my loss for this week is-





























3lbs!!!!

So that is 5lbs in 2 weeks!!!!

I'm so pleased with myself and look forward to next weeks weigh in :)

Monday Ponderings- Matching Underwear

I have a lot of underwear. When I say a lot, I mean approx 100 pairs of pants and more socks. There was a time I couldn't go in to a shop without buying either. Out of all the pants I probably only have 6 matching bras. I've never been fussed with things matching to be honest. As long as it's clean, I'm happy.

Anyway, I read somewhere that men like it when ladies wear matching underwear.

I'm not convinced really...

So, do men like it?

 And ladies, do you wear matching underwear?


Please leave a comment below :)

1st week on WLR

It has been an eye opener, to say the least. I put my details in to weightlossresources and put that I'd like 2lbs loss a week. That gave me 1100 calories to have a day. Easy I thought. I actually went over my calories on 4 days out of 7. The plus side of it though is, I did consciously eat less than I usually do. So I'm happy to say I've lost............



























2lbs!

Very happy with that. Next week I'm going to try harder to stay within calories and possibly throw some exercise in. If I do do some exercise it gives me extra calories so would compensate any slips I have, but I think concentrating on only eating 1100 calories a day would be a better thing to do this week...


Things that will help are-

Menu planning for the week.

No junk in the house.    If it's not there, I can't eat it!

Record everything in my food diary. 

Eat less than this week!


According to my goals and results chart, I should reach my goal weight by 24th December.  Lets see if I can do it!

Rejoined Weight Loss Resources!

I've finally rejoined Weight Loss Resources! I find it really helpful and it gives a great insight to what calories I am consuming. I've been back for 3 days now and did go a teeny bit over my calories on the first couple of days but I am managing to tweak my food intake. I'm amazed at how much certain things are calorie wise.  I've always been a late night snacker but I'm trying my hardest not to be anymore. You can't change a habit of a lifetime overnight though so I'm not being too hard on myself if I do have a little slip up. I do think that a little bit of what you fancy does you good. I can't deny myself anything as I want it even more. Then when I do get it, I go a bit mad. My will power is getting better though. I have a 12 pack of crisps in the cupboard that I'd normally have troffed by now. I have some dark chocolate in the cupboard if I need a bit. All in all though, so far so good. First weigh in is on Sunday. I'm hoping to get back into doing my exercise dvd again at some point but right now I'm concentrating on what I'm eating.

5 weeks of no smoking!!

I have been a non smoker for 5 whole weeks today. It has been a lot easier than the last few times I've quit and I haven't strayed at all. I used to go around to a friends house and have a coffee and a fag. She consciously made the effort not to smoke around me in the first couple of weeks but now I can sit with her while she smokes and not even want any. I've even been out drinking and not smoked, which is a miracle!!

It has had negative effects on me though. My chest feels rough every morning and I've struggled with severe constipation for the last 3 and a half weeks. After 2 weeks of taking laxatives and a week using suppositories I can safely say that is not the case anymore. I'm hoping now that's the end of any more problems in that area! I have also gained weight, which I'm really not happy about!! But hopefully I can get back into my exercising and lose it again.

I've used the money I've saved to treat myself to a couple of new tops.

Day 4 I can't do it!!!

Have just attempted Jillians 30 Day Shred and couldn't do all of the press ups. I stopped at 10 minutes in the end. So gutted!!

My insides feel so bloated and I'm in pain today. I feel quite sick.

I've just recently been to the Drs as I've been suffering from constipation for the last few weeks so it's probably that. I was hoping the exercise and presciption I was given would get things going but it hasn't :(

I'm sure there's an underlying problem as well as I'm not eating an awful lot but I'm gaining weight quite quickly *cry*

Will try again tomorrow with the dvd...

Day 3 of 30 Days Shred

So todays exercise nearly didn't happen. My legs were really aching a lot yesterday so I did some extra stretching on them. It seemed to help quite a bit. I had a rough nights sleep and have feeling a bit rubbish all day. It's also my mums 60th today so I took her out for dinner tonight. She went home about 9.45pm in the end. I did just want to crawl into bed and zonk out, but then decided that if I was going to do this, I had to do it!

So, at 10.15pm tonight I pulled on my workout clothes and got on with it. Go me! ;)

I did better tonight as well and didn't stop at all. I'm still doing level 1 and I feel it's definately working. I'll give it a few more days then might think about moving on to level 2.

For me, extra stretching after doing it is the way to go.

Day 2 of 30 Day Shred.

My legs were aching when I woke up this morning from doing the exercise dvd yesterday. I had to take it easy going down the stairs! Oh dear! So unfit!!

I did do it again earlier though and this time used some tins of soup as my hand weights. I stopped twice for a quick breather and slurp of water. I was a sweaty mess again though.

I CAN DO THIS!

Shower here I come!

Day 1 of Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred

I've recently bought this exercise dvd and today was the first day of doing it. I did Level 1 as I haven't exercised for a while and boy, it was tough!! I decided to buy this dvd as I think Jillian Michaels is amazing. I often watch The Biggest Loser and she knows how to work people!  There are 3 levels, each with a 20 minute workout, including warm up and cool down. I think it might be a while before I move up to the next level but I'm going to give it my best! I weighed and measured myself this morning and will do the same in 30 days time. Now I think I need a lie down...

Wish me luck!

Would you have an affair??

I was watching Lorraine on ITV1 this morning and a feature really annoyed me. It was about a 'new' dating site for married people looking for affairs. There is a little bit about it on the website here

I am not married myself but I would honestly say that if I was a married woman I WOULD NOT even contemplate having an affair. Yes, you don't know the ins and outs of other peoples marriages but I think that someone that would do this clearly has no morals. If your marriage is that bad then get out of it!

I have used 'normal' dating sites before(if you can call them that) and have come across married men before. If they send me a message I usually tell them where I stand on the whole 'friends with benefits' issue and then go on to ask them how they can even do it? I don't understand??!!

I'm sure that there are many people that do use this kind of service but surely it's not going to end well is it? Are there husbands/wives that are happy to use this? Surely it would be better for all if they were even thinking about having an affair is to end the marriage first? How do their partners feel about them using a site like this? Or do they even know?

Hmmm,I'd like to hear your views on this as clearly I'm quite old fashioned and naive about the whole marriage/relationship thing...

Diet FAIL!

Hmm, I've had a pretty rubbish 3 weeks diet wise. To be honest I didn't manage to get back into it properly. I'm not in the 'zone' so to speak. AND I've put on 4lbs!!

On a plus note though, I have made some small changes in eating habits which I think,with a lot more effort, will be very beneficial to me.

And I also gave up smoking 3 weeks ago. I think that has contributed to the gain.

So I am going to continue to make small changes and see if I can keep going with them so I don't get overwhelmed with it all and give up.

I'm going to give crocheting a go too, to keep my hands busy ;)

Another award! ;)

Thanks so much to SarahR for my lovely 'Beautiful Blogger Award'. You can read Sarahs Blog here.

The rules are I have to write 7 unknown things about myself and then pass the award on to 5 other bloggers.

1. I cannot poach an egg. I've tried and tried but just cannot do it! I love poached eggs. Even looking at the picture below makes my mouth water. I've tried the whizzing round the water, adding a dash of vinegar etc etc, and it still comes out a total mess!

2. E.T gives me nightmares *shudder*. I can't even bear to put a picture on of it!! Eww, that long finger and the way its neck stretches. Yuck, yuck, YUCK!!!!

3. I love Soap&Glory products. The packaging, the smell, just everything about it. Soap&Glory makes me very happy!

                                  

4. I want to find my soulmate. I want to be with someone that makes me complete. Someone that will do anything for me as I would them. As the years go on I find myself wondering if it'll ever happen and feeling more dis-heartened. I'm getting used to the idea of being a smelly cat woman ;)

5. I love my Dyson. I'm not known for my housework skills, but hoovering is something I enjoy doing.

6. I love chocolate as much as I love cheese. I like the mild cheeses like brie, camembert, mild cheddar etc but I've also got a shameful addiction to Cheesestrings. Chocolate. I don't really need to say more do I?

7. I have a love/hate relationship with the internet. I love it because I've made so many great friends online and it's opened my whole world up but I also hate it because it has entrapped me in cyberspace and my real life seems to be dwindling. I feel I'm a much better online friend than a real one, which is really quite sad. Where I've gained new friends, I've also lost people. I've suffered highs and lows and even heartbreak. I wouldn't be without it though.

Right, my 5 bloggers are-

Di- http://www.tekkencat.co.uk/

Bernadeena- http://bernardeena.blogspot.com/

Ger- http://galwaygirl19.blogspot.com/

Lou- http://jamtartstopssmoking.blogspot.com/

ModestyBrown- http://www.modestybrown.com/

When did Friday nights get so dull?

Oh that's right, when I became old and boring!

I used to live for the weekend. Now it's the worst part of the week. Most of my friends are settled and married so I don't have many 'friends' to go out with these days. I find it quite depressing really. I feel a bit of an outsider, so to speak, as I'm the single one. Certain people have a problem with that.

 Oooo, don't go out with the single girl. She'll lead you astray.

No, not really. I'm a nice girl. I don't do leading astray. What's wrong with going out with your friends for a couple of drinks, single or not??

I am actually suffering quite badly today with a hangover. I went out with a married friend and had a blast. And now it's Friday night, I'm sat with feet up watching Coronation Street, and my son's not even here. This kind of night is when I wish I had a man to curl up on the sofa with...

Ideas please people!

Right, from tomorrow I will set myself a 'challenge' to do. I don't mean anything like skydiving off the Transporter Bridge or anything, but something I can do that will make me feel better. Or just things that will put a smile on my face and make me laugh. Something that will distract me from being a miserable cow.

I have some ideas but they're pretty usual boring things, so I was hoping a few of you could send some ideas my way. If you're lucky I might post some photos of me doing some of them... ;)

Why can't I do this??!!

Back on the wagon? Pfffft! The wagon well and truely left without me!! I've actually put on 3lbs in the last 2 weeks! I am now the heaviest I've ever been (appart from when I was heavily pregnant). The thing that bugs me most is that I can not control what I am eating. I just can't do it.

And this coming from someone that was anorexic for 7 and a half years...

Hard to imagine but I just didn't eat and exercised pretty much 7 days a week. It was a pretty fucked up time in my life and that was the thing I COULD control, my eating. My lowest weight was 5 and a half stone. I remember being discharged from hospital after attempted suicide and getting my stomach pumped. I remember standing looking in the mirror and thinking how great it was that I had an indented stomach and that I was so light in weight. I tried not to eat but my body just couldn't take it anymore. I lost control...

I started to eat again when I met my sons dad. I put on weight and was 8 and a half stone for years. Then I had my son. Since then the weight has been creeping on. He will be 6 at the end of the month. 6 years I have spent on fad diets, weight watchers, slimming pills, all sorts of crap and none of it has worked. I've lost a few pounds here and there but I hate how much I weigh. I hate looking in the mirror and seeing what I've become.

I want to be able to gain the control back again, not to the extent of an eating disorder, just to be 'normal'.

OOOOOO, my first blog award :)

So according to the rules I have to post who gave me the award which was Lou (blog here) and Sarah (blog here). Thank you ladies :)

Then I have to post 10 things I love.

So in no particular order-

1. My bed
2. Cheese
3. My laptop
4. Cats
5. Dog the Bounty Hunter
6. Old VW Beetles
7. Cups of tea
8. Drunken dancing
9. Random text messages
10. Spending money


Next I have to pass the award on to 10 other Blogs I read regularly and notify them. I only actually follow 7 other blogs right now though so they will have to do!

1. Life According To Lou

2. Sugar & Spice

3. Diary of a (sometimes) mad Tekkencat!

4. My Life in Words...

5. Mum's Monkey

6. Slightly South of Sanity

7. Modesty Brown

Back on the wagon (again)

I've decided today is the day that I jump back on the diet wagon. I'd really like to lose a stone but half a stone will do for now. I know what I need to do- eat less and move more. Sounds simple doesn't it? It's not though!

From today I will-

Eat a healthy breakfast

Go out for a walk or bike ride

Lay off the junk! This is a tough one but if I don't buy any and it's not in the house, I can't eat it.

Make healthy and nutritious meals. I can cook but I'm a lazy cow that would rather shove something in the oven while I play on the computer. Not any more!

Not sit on my backside all day watching tv or on the computer. I'm begininning to feel like my whole life is on cyberspace. It's time to get back to reality!

Evening snacking- This is one of my biggest downfalls(appart from chocolate and cheese). I tend to sit mindlessly in front of the tv on a night and endlessly shove crap down my neck.

Eat more fruit and veg.

Drink more water- I did do really well with this a while back but it has slowly stopped again and I'm mostly drinking tea and coffee throughout the day.

I shall be weighing and measuring myself today and will weigh in once a week, re measure once a month.

If anyone has any hints/tips/recipes they'd like to share with me I'd be very grateful!

what's new?

I was dreading the school holidays. 6 whole weeks! But, it's been fine. We went camping for a week in the Lakes and went down to Southport for a week. I was only going to stay for the weekend for another friends wedding, which was a great day, but decided to stay a bit longer. My friend moved to Southport in November. I miss her not being here. She was like my guardian angel when I was leaving my sons dad. She keeps asking me to move down near her. I'm in 2 minds about it though. Right now I'm not sure where I want to be.

I'm glad to say my health has improved greatly and I'm pretty much back to normal, whatever that is.

I had an interview with Victim Support to do some volunteer work and have had the dates through for the training. I'm quite looking forward to doing it.

We're away again this weekend then it's back to school for the boy.

I need to get myself back into a routine again. Sort the house out. Keep on top of things. Get back on the old dieting wagon. The garden needs sorting out. I need to look after myself better. It seems that everyone elses life is more important than mine, so I'm going to try and balance things out better. Oh and I need to spend less time online...

The Dating Game...

Why is it so hard to meet someone??? Since becoming single, 3 years ago now, I have tried various ways to meet a new man and have failed!

Internet Dating- I have made quite a few 'friends' from dating sites, one has even invited me to his wedding next year. I went out with someone for about a month but it just wasn't happening for me. Then I met someone that had the potential to be 'Mr Right'. Unfortunately he had other priorities, and they didn't include me... Oh well, his loss ;)

Speed Dating- OMG! Such a funny evening. I actually went twice, to different venues. The first time I got so drunk I couldn't remember who everyone was and didn't fill in my like/dislike form until the end. I ended up with a 'friend'. The second time I made sure I filled in my form as the evening went along and not to drink so much. Again I got a 'friend'. Speed dating is fun but expensive and not worth it!

Drunken girls nights out- You know, you get dressed up and out on the pull. Drunken snogs and giving out your number. I've ended up with random texts now and again but nothing worth persuing(suprise suprise).

So what's a girl to do??

I give up anyway...

But if you know anyone ;)

Camping

5 days camping in The Lakes. Campsite was Fisherground Campsite and was quite nice. The drive there for the last hour was pretty scary. The boy likened it to a rollercoaster ride. We were in the noisiest pitch by far though. Just behind our tent was a pond and play area. Most nights there were about 20 kids in there splashing, screaming, throwing mud at each other, it was so noisy. Toilet/shower block were up to scratch and cleaned twice a day. There was also a little steam train that stopped by the campsite every half an hour or so, which we went on pretty much all day one day. There wasn't an awful lot of things to do, unless you were into hiking, so we went out driving to places for days out. We went to South Lakes Animal Park which was a great day out, although it was quite expensive. There were days when we followed random signs which led to nothing. All in all though the holiday was good. The boy loved it and wants to go back again.

Where I am right now.

I'm kind of at a cross roads in my life right now. I'm not sure which way to go. I have the opportunity to go back to University as a part time student but that will add another 3-4 years on my studying, or I can apply to another University and start straight from year 2. Although I love the idea of having a degree, I just don't think I can do it. I've already failed year 2 and don't want to re-do it only to fail again. But I've come this far and it seems a shame to just give up...

Health wise- I have been quite sick with Acid Reflux and IBS. I'm on medication for both so hopefully things will settle down soon. I don't know why I've suddenly developed it but man it sucks! On the plus side I have been off my anti depressants for a while now :)

Single life- There are days when I feel sad that I'm alone and other days when I'm quite happy it's just me and my boy. I would love to meet someone oneday though; get married and have babies. It has to be with the 'right' person though.

So, a lot of thinking has to be done about my future and what would be best for me. I just want to be able to provide me and my son a comfortable life. I'm pretty happy in myself at the moment and look forward to the future and what it may bring :)

Well hello!

Ok, so I thought I'd start an online blog and here I am. I'm new to this so please be patient with me while I find my feet.

Right, who am I?

I'm a 34 year old single mum that lives in the Northeast of England. I have a wonderful son, 2 naughty cats and a hamster. I'm originally from the Southwest and moved up here in 2000. Things didn't work out with my sons dad but I liked it so much that I stayed. Like most people I've had many ups and downs in my life but I think I'm finally getting where I feel 'ok' with things.

Will be back soon for more ;)